Lately, I have been doing some major work on my eating disorder. I think once you have an eating disorder, you know the work is never done. You likely will never be a "normal eater." Currently, I have been really eating healthy, haven't been binging at all, and generally found a healthy balance with food. I am now currently 3lbs away from being smaller than I have been since I was 16 or 17. I am heading into territory that I haven't seen for about 14 years. And with that comes extreme emotions, anxiety, and irrational thought patterns.
I guess I never realized these things were running rampant because I would just eat instead of deal with them. But lately, they have been coming back with a vengeance. During this time, I have realized that maybe I am a person that just needs to focus on rest a little more than the average person, give myself time to process and time to wrap my head around the new me. The me that allows myself to feel deep emotions rather than eat my troubles away.
After spending time in prayer and counsel, I decided that dealing with the eating disorder, the marathon and my job were enough on my plate...and I decided to take a backseat in some of the other areas of my life that I am involved with..and that's ok. When you are trying to reach a goal and deal with something major, sometimes it's ok to set boundaries and not spread yourself too thin. (Pun not intended:))
On another note, today is my "rest day" from running and I am spending the morning drinking coffee, writing this blog and reading. It's definitely wonderful to take a breather.