Dear Fat On My Thighs

Dear Fat On My Thighs,

I've decided to write you this letter because you need to know that I have decided to end our decades long relationship. I know I tried to end this relationship a while ago, but it seems you have decided to stalk me.

I thought I could shake you by walking long distances. I started walking 2, 3 and 4 miles and then finally walking a marathon hoping that you would finally get the hint that I just didn't want to be with you anymore. But no, you stuck like glue.

I then decided that running would do the trick. I could easily get rid of you through running. I found myself running 30 mile weeks, knowing that with each mile I was chasing you away.

Then I decided I would run a half marathon, and now training for a full, but you still decided that you just couldn't stay away from me.

In fact, you must have started to make threats to other areas of my body, because my arm fat couldn't get away fast enough. Then today, I decided to measure and you were still there, solid as a rock but my chest had decided to once again run away screaming to the tune of another two inches lost.

So this is it, fat on my thighs, I have decided to be done with you once and for all. I have found someone new, something that I think will keep you away for good.

Kettlebell swings are my new restraining order. I started hitting them hard and I expect you to finally heed this advice and go find someone else to cling to. I hear some of the supermodels on the catwalk are looking for someone just like you to complete them,

No longer yours truly,
Cassie

My Heart is Full

After a couple of weeks of feeling drained and moody and questioning God, my heart as been filled up.

I was supposed to go out of town for the weekend with my mom to see my aunt. Right before I left, I found an amazing gift on my doorstep.

My good friend, Dinah, had put together a book filled with verses and messages from friends and family encouraging me and offering kind words. This was for my 30th birthday (even though my birthday was in February).

Personally, I think the book came at the perfect time.

It's not every day that you get such a wonderful gift of encouragement. That alone would have filled up my soul after feeling depleted.

But then I got to spend the weekend with my mom and aunt Karin in Kansas. We had amazing conversation, good wine and casino time:)

My aunt Karin is awesome and has been one of my biggest support systems and cheerleaders in life. It was so fun seeing her.

Here are some of the trip pictures.

Then today my dad came up for treatment (he has cancer treatment a few times a year in Omaha) and I got to spend some fun times eating out and laughing with my parents.

It has been a wonderful week and I am feeling refreshed.

"Taste and see that the Lord is good."-Psalm 34: 8a

Wow, running really does matter

I went for my first "real" run today after being unable to run since my injury on July 1. So I have either been walking or weight training.But I haven't been exercising like I've wanted to.

Yesterday I went see Leslie Martin at http://www.mcwomaha.com/ART who does Active Release Technique (Don't ask me what it is because I don't know) I called it "leg voodoo" because this morning I went on a run and it felt like I had never been injured.

It was amazing. But the most notable thing about getting to run this morning was my immediate mood improvement. I have been moody, irritable, mad at people and generally lethargic for almost 2 weeks now. As soon as I went on my run, it was like I could handle all my problems again. I am back to goal setting and getting things accomplished. Who knew it could have such as impact.

I am sooo thankful I can continue to train for the marathon but now I feel like I have to play catch up. I am back in the game. Sorry for anyone who has had to deal with moody Cassie lately:)

Maintaining and Frustrated

I have to be honest.

I am frustrated with my weight loss. Oh it would be really easy to say "Oh you've lost 102 lbs and kept it off that's really good" and it is really good. I'm not negating the work I've done.

I could also lie to myself and say "Oh you are doing everything right and the scale isn't budging..how frustrating." But I used to lie to myself all the time, that is how I got so overweight in the beginning.

The truth is that my eating has been atrocious. Not every day, some days are better than others. Last month I counted and stayed in my calorie goal 12 out of 30 days and ate too much 18 out of 30 days. While I only missed 3 days of exercise out of 30 (also known as rest days).

Clearly, exercise is not the problem.

I've been toying with new food plans, knowing that if I went on them I would feel amazing but they all make me feel deprived. It's like there is a little child inside me that wants what they want when they want it.

I think I have finally narrowed down the culprit.

I have a sugar problem.

And it's a big problem. I once read that sugar is as addictive as crack cocaine. I wouldn't be surprised. So a part of me thinks I need to give it up because it's simply something I CAN'T (or haven't been able to up to this point) eat in moderation.

I keep saying to myself, "But I'll be so different from everyone if I give it up." Of course, I also became different from everyone when I gave up gluten, so it's not like sugar is much of a stretch beyond that.

I keep thinking and planning and reasoning but ultimately what I want to do is figure out how to completely give up sugar while simultaneously eating an entire bag of M&M's.

Not possible.

So I think that ultimately leaves me with one choice. Pull up my big girl panties and make a decision about my future. Do I want to get as fit and healthy as possible? Do I want to be a real athlete? Do I want to hit my goal weight/size? And do I want all that more than I want the hot tamales and coconut milk ice cream?

Ok fine, I'm on it.

Yah, this isn't me or my stomach..hopefully soon.

Back to running

This will be a short post. But I wanted to tell everyone that I am back to running:) I was starting to get nervous with my injury. While I didn't run long or fast today, I at least ran. I made it a little less than 2 miles. I was soooo excited.

Hopefully by tomorrow I will be able to do my mileage as written on my plan (4 miles) and this weekend I'll be able to RUN 15 miles instead of walk it (if I never have to walk for four hours again, it will be too soon.)

I am headed out to a 14 hour client day packed with my healthy chicken tacos, my water bottle and an Ipod full of Zig Ziglar encouragements.

Happy Monday!

14 miles

Today, my long run was 14 miles. Because I am still recovering from an injury. I made the choice to walk the whole 14 miles.

I talked one of my friends into doing the 14 miles with me so I wouldn't be bored out of my mind. However, I was still bored.

If felt like it took forever. In reality it did take forever (about 4 hours and 20 minutes). If there is yet another reason to like running more than walking, it's the amount of time it takes.

We went to walk around Lake Zorinsky and 14 miles effectively means twice around the whole lake. I kept joking about how I used to think that my 4 mile walk around one side of the lake was awesome.

We started around 6:30am which was the best idea on the planet because by the end of the walk (around 11am..seriously?) it was HOT. I am thankful that most of it was completed in the early morning hours.

Needless to say, I am icing my calf today and fully planning on running again starting Monday.

The upside is that I burned 2083 calories. I guess I can eat chocolate today:)

My Very Dave Ramsey Challenge Day

Even though I have been following Dave Ramsey for a long time, I haven't gone full force with "The Total Money Makeover" until more recently.

The biggest problem I have been having is sticking to a solid grocery budget. So I decided to give myself a challenge today. I was going to take all of my change, turn it in for cash and that would be the amount that I would spend on groceries.

When I took my change in,  it equaled 34.26

 34.26 on groceries was going to be hard. After all the LEAST amount that I usually spend is 50 with some weeks ending up between 80-100 (Gluten free food is expensive).

First, I ventured to Aldi. I have only heard good things about this place. So, I figured it would be a lot easier sticking to a grocery budget there.

It was a bust. Aldi doesn't do very well with gluten free labeling and the prices of the fresh produce were just about the same as Trader Joes. So I left.

I then went to Trader Joes. I had to make some difficult decisions while I was there such as choosing to make bean burritos rather than chicken tortillas this week for lunches (I already had beans at home and the organic chicken was super expensive). I also usually would've made some "on the spot" purchases like extra gluten free oatmeal and gluten free cupcakes, maybe a bottle of wine..but I did my best to stick to the list. In the end, I spent 34 dollars exactly.

Here are all the things I got for 34 dollars

1. A bunch of bananas
2. 1 loaf Udi's gluten free bread
3. 1 Watermelon
4. 1 Carton of Coconut Milk
5. 1 Bag of iceberg lettuce
6. 1 bag of corn tortillas
7. 1 box of Gluten free cereal
8. 1 Bag of Organic Strawberries
9. 1 package of Organic All Beef Hot Dogs
10. 1 Box of Rice Pasta Mac and Cheese
11. 1 Carton of Dark Peanut Butter Cups
12. 1 Bag all natural potato chips

I'm sure as I begin to understand couponing and menu planning more, I'll be able to do even better. But for now, I am very proud of sticking to my Dave Ramsey budget.

After grocery shopping, I sold some books to the used bookstore for 17 dollars..then I went home and made about 10 dollars doing surveys on Mturk...Dave would be proud:)

Eating Healthy On A Holiday

I didn't eat healthy on the 4th of July. I didn't even think or try to eat healthy on the 4th of July. My roommate/good friend and I never see each other (even though we live together which is funny) and so we decided we were going to spend the day at the lake, drinking wine and laying out. Since she is getting married in four months, we also realized it probably be a while before we got to do this again.

So we packed a cooler with hot dogs, marshmallows, chocolate, wine and brought two bags of chips. It was all delicious.

Then on the way home we got pizza (gluten free for me).

I got a nice tan, drank soo soo wine, read a book, had great conversation and generally had a relaxing day with a good friend.

All the extra calories were totally worth it.

The trick is going to be getting back on track today. Wish me luck:)

Reexamining everything

I have been dealing with a little bit of an injury that today became a bigger injury. On Thursday I felt like I pulled a small muscle in my calf. It hurt a little but only when I ran. I continued to run and do my mileage as planned. On Saturday I did  9 miles but had to walk a little because of the injury. No big deal. I felt like taking Sunday off would give it plenty of time to heal.

This morning I was sprinting around the track and felt something pop in my calf. It almost knocked me to the ground. Then I spent the rest of the day in pain and limping. Walking upstairs is excruciating.

Unfortunately, immediately after this happened I had to go home and get ready for a 12 hour work day. For me a 12 hour work day means spending a lot of time in my car when I'm not with clients. This enables me to have a lot of time to think.

One of my biggest fears of this whole weight loss process has been having an injury that made it difficult for me to continue exercising. Now in all fairness I don't think (hope) that this injury will hinder me or my marathon training for too long. But nevertheless it caused me to think about something.

Could I continue this weight loss journey without exercise right now? Is my food healthy enough to get to my goal weight without exercise?

Nope.

It's time I reevaluate what I am doing. The reality is that I love certain kinds of food (sugar) and I love that I have been able to eat plenty of what I want and still lose weight because I workout so much. This has caused me to shift my thinking quite a bit.

Not only do I need to be thinking "eating clean is probably healthy, I should do that." I actually need to make steps to clean up my diet a lot so that I don't NEED to exercise to feel healthy. Because there are some days my eating is sooo crappy that the only reason I feel healthy if because I ran 5 miles that morning. Hopefully eating clean will  make me a better exerciser as well.

All in all, I am sure this injury is a blessing in disguise to make me take a good hard look at my eating. Unless of course I don't get to run the marathon..and then I will just cry.