Real Food

Lately, I have been experimenting with trying to eat only "real food." Obviously this means healthy yummy food like fresh fruits and vegetables. But it also means that when I want a junk food, I need to learn how to make it from scratch.

This has been a good experiment because it has made me think about the actual food that my junk food is made out of. Lately, I have been craving a lot of salty, starchy foods (this is weird for me since I am a sweet eater.)

Today when I got home from work I really really really wanted potato chips. I was kind of frustrated because I didn't have any at home and I didn't want to go buy some. But then I thought to myself "Wait, don't I have potatoes? I need to figure out how to make potato chips."

Incidentally baked potato chips are really easy.

Just preheat the oven to 400. Slice up some potatoes really thin. Soak them in water for 10 minutes. Then put them on an oven tray. Put your topping of choice on them (I sprinkled olive oil and salt on them) and then baked them for 10 minutes, flip them over and bake them for another 15 minutes.

They are delicious, hit the spot and I didn't feel like crap afterwards. Plus I didn't spent an extra 2.49 at the gas station buying chemical crap. I knew every single ingredient in these potato chips.

Scale Freedom

Yesterday I listened to a fitness podcast where the person kept saying "Stay off of the freakin scale."

She was talking about her eating disorder and how much the eating disorder had to do with the scale and how much better she felt when she got rid of it.  She started working on making small eating changes and performance goals and her body just became what she wanted it to look like.

It's so true. Even though I "gave up the scale," I will still step on it from time to time. But I noticed that when I step on it, it doesn't really make me happy even if it says something good.

You know what does make me happy?

The fact that I ran my fastest 5k this morning, running 12 miles last Saturday and still having enough energy to get through the rest of the day, eating fruits and vegetables and feeling amazing, and saying "no" to a king sized candy bar at lunch yesterday when I could have said "yes."

Little goals, lifestyle goals, performance goals..all of those things make me happy.

The scale tells me nothing.  So instead, I am going to continue making performance goals, continue looking better and better in clothes, continue caring about "size" rather than "weight," and continue to work on not medicating myself with food.

First Week of Marathon Training (In Review)

For those of you who don't know, I recently signed up for the Omaha marathon which is on September 22, 2013.

I know I said that I wouldn't probably run a marathon or even another half-marathon this year, but apparently I forgot.

This is the first week of training for me for the marathon that is in 13 weeks or so.

The first day was awesome. Monday I ran 3.1 miles at 5:30 in the morning, followed by a 2 mile walk/run. I was pretty happy with this day. There is nothing like sweating at 5:30am in the morning.

On Monday I started to lose my voice but I didn't think it was a big deal.

Tuesday morning I work up feeling a little weak but didn't think much of it. I did 3 miles at 6:30am in the morning and came home and crashed.

Then I crashed Tuesday and Wednesday. I couldn't even work. Bronchitis had invaded my body. Yesterday I decided that I needed to get back in the game so I decided to go for a walk.

I walked a mile before I was down for the count. Such a bummer.

Now it's Friday. Tomorrow I'm slated to do a 12 mile run and my energy is back so hopefully I will be able to get some training in the weekend.

Hopefully next training week will be much better. 

The Inability to Talk

The last three days my throat has been very scratchy. I said "hmm, I wonder if I am coming down with something."

Today I woke up and there was a huge lump in my throat. But I got up at 6am and did my 3 mile run anyway (there is definitely something to the idea of running before your body has figured out what it is doing).

When I got home, I felt overly exhausted and decided to just lay down for a few minutes. I couldn't get out of bed for a few hours.

I was about to get up and get ready to go see clients when I opened my mouth to talk and almost nothing came out.

Then I started coughing like crazy.

After that I looked in the mirror and noticed I looked like I got run over by a truck. 

Needless to say, I went back to bed.

This has happened to me so many times that I know if I don't reign it in now, I will have full fledged bronchitis. 

I am sick and I hate that. I am hoping (and planning) for this to only be a one day thing. (At least the part with the exhaustion, I can handle a sore throat for a few days).

 So I guess I am catching up on some TV (any good new shows anyone?) and am hoping that I wake up with a clear throat, clear lungs, and the spirit of the energizer bunny tomorrow. 

How Funny Is the Scale?

I was just reading someone else's blog and they were talking about losing 3 lbs. They were talking about how amazing they felt because they lost 3 lbs. I don't want to take anything away from this person for losing 3 lbs, kudos to them for losing the weight.

But it just made me wonder, why do we let 3 lbs define our identity?

For instance, I just ate a bowl of coconut milk ice cream at 9 o'clock at night. After spending two years of watching my body like a hawk, I can tell you that my body would most likely gain three lbs on the scale from this delicious ice cream.

That being said, there are some things that I know rationally such as...

I know I didn't actually gain 3 lbs. That would involve me having to have eating 10,500 calories over my regular calorie burn (2150) + what I burned in exercise today (510). Effectively in order to have actually gained 3 lbs, I would have had to eat 13,160 calories..also known as one elephant, two giraffes and a piccolo player. 

That being said, had I been married to the scale like I used to be, seeing that 3 lb gain tomorrow would ruin my whole day, make me feel like a failure and ultimately result in a binge. 

How ridiculous? 

Now I do think the scale is an excellent tool to use when you are trying to lose massive amounts of weight. You have to tweak your eating all through this process and it's good to see what works and what doesn't. I am currently in another "eating tweak" right now. This actually usually involves a period of time where I fluctuate at the same weight (within about a 5lb range) until I figure out the next push forward I need to do. 

On top of that I have added weight training so I have put on a couple of lbs. But my body has never felt better or stronger and in reality, it has actually never been smaller (smallest size since I was about 14 years old). 

Why do we care soooo much what that stupid scale says? 

If I was trying to "make weight" tomorrow, I wouldn't have eaten that coconut ice cream tonight. In fact, I would have eaten a super light dinner and probably been really cranky. My calories are fine. For long-term weight loss, I am doing everything right. I am counting calories, I am weight training, and I am running but when I live by the scale I am not enjoying my life.

It's time to stop the madness.

-Stop letting three pounds define you.
-Start enjoying the food you get to consume rather than trying to fit your food in a box that works for everyone else. 
-Workout because you love it or because it makes you feel good rather than because you have to see a number on the scale.
-Be present in life, look around, meet new people...stop trying so hard
-The healthier you are, the less weight will stick around, this includes mentally healthy as well.

Lets try to take my advice together:)

Cassie

15 Miles

Yesterday I had the day off and decided I wanted to get in a workout. Since I have been toying with the idea of signing up for the Omaha Marathon, I wanted to see if I still had the mental capability to do a long mileage day.

I have been walking this week because I desperately need to go buy new running shoes this weekend. I have officially run through two pairs.

Now when I run, my knees hurt a lot. So I will be spending Saturday in a running store finding my new perfect pair.

I started out my 15 mile walk by myself at a the park/trail near my house. I finished four miles then joined some friends for three more miles. It was 90 degrees out and I needed a lot more water than I had for this 15 mile venture, so I ended up finishing the last 8 miles on the treadmill at the gym.

It was hard. But I did it.

Since I have taken a lot of break time since the half-marathon, I had forgotten how amazing it is to push myself two miles past my breaking point. It feels like every time I do a long workout like this, it forms a new level of character in me.

I love it. I forgot how much I love it.

It makes me think I am ready to get back into the long run game.

On another note, I am pretty happy with the Kettlebell workouts I have been doing. One of my friend's gave me a bunch of dresses that she didn't want anymore so I tried them on. I especially liked this one.

I was pretty happy with the definition I am starting to see in both my arms and legs because of this training. I never used to wear dresses because I didn't like how I looked in them. Now I think you might be seeing me in dresses all the time:)

Happy Wednesday Everyone!

Two Years of Weight Loss

Hi everyone,

Today I am celebrating two years of being on this journey. I remember the first weekend that I started this weight loss journey. I was in a friend's wedding. It was hard because I had to plan my meals around the day and figure how to eat properly when I didn't know what food was being served. In the end, I think that probably was a gift from God.

If I could plan my food that weekend, I could plan it anytime.

I remember when I weighed at my heaviest (102 lbs more than I do now:) and I would read "success" stories. These success stories would discuss how people would take years to get off the weight. I always said it wouldn't take me that long.

Little did I know how long it takes to make real and lasting changes.

Two years later I'm still not at goal but I am 102 lbs down. Losing weight this slowly has truly made it a part of my life and no matter how many slip ups I have, I know that I'll never go back to where I was before. I was cleaning out my garage the other day and found this picture.

Not only do I look fat in this picture, but I just don't look like I took care of myself very well (and seriously, why didn't anyone tell me that this hair was NOT a good look for me)

Now I look like this

So even though I still have a ways to go to hit goal weight, I'll take present Cassie over past Cassie any day. Even just for the better hair:)

I eat healthier than I ever have, workout more than ever before, and have removed most (but not all unfortunately) of my binge days...and that's ok, it takes time to change your life. But every part of the journey has been worth it. 

I thought I'd list some "non-scale" victories that have happened during this journey.

1. I do weight training now. This actually took me about two years but has changed my body in about one month which is crazy. I even enjoy it. 

2. My home office is upstairs in my house and I don't think twice about going up and down the stairs to get things to work on.

3. I started running with a group of people and even though I'm not as fast as them, I don't feel bad about myself..I know I'll get there. 

4. I have arm muscles

5. I have gone down 4 pants sizes just since I started weight training

6. A binge sends me into a 3 day bad eating pattern rather than a 3 week bad eating pattern. This may seem minor but is actually HUGE for me. 

7. I eat a spinach salad most days for lunch, not because I LOVE spinach but because I know that salad will keep me alert for an all day work day.

8. I workout on 13 hour work days. I didn't even do this last year. 

9. I'm looking at a possible "goal size" (8) rather than "goal weight" because who cares about the number?

10. My hair is pretty awesome..I know this has nothing to do with weight loss but I really can't get over how bad it was:)

Here's to being a goal size in two more years (although I'm actually hoping for one)

Frosting From A Can

Sorry it's been a while since I blogged. Life, work, relationships, etc. has gotten in the way. I've also found that I've had to deal with a whole new level of emotional eating.

That is why I found myself eating frosting out of a can on Sunday.

What? This isn't me anymore. Thankfully, I didn't eat the whole thing (although I probably would have in the past).

On Sunday I had to tell a guy that was super into me that I wasn't into him (for various, legitimate reasons) and I felt like I was kicking a puppy.

Somehow it emotionally drained me so much that I felt myself on the verge of a binge (hence the frosting). I realized it about half way through and threw the rest of the frosting (and potato chips) away.

I've been reading the book "Made to Crave" that talks about how we are creatures who were created to crave for God, but many of us replace that craving with food. (Others replace that craving with drugs, alcohol, etc.) I've currently been working through the emotions that go along with that because some days (like frosting day) I will be halfway through a binge before I even notice I'm doing it.

On a lighter note, on Saturday it was super rainy outside, rendering me wanting to be completely worthless. My roommate, Tami, and I decide to go do a 2 mile walk just to get a workout in. She wanted to drive to the "pretty" area of the trail to start. We drove to the trail and got out. It was still raining. Then Tami realized that she locked her keys in the car.

So our 2 mile walk turned into a 7.34 mile walk/run back to the house.

The funny thing is, that when Tami's fiancee took her to go get her car, she found out that the car was unlocked the whole time.

She swears she didn't do it on purpose.

Whatever:)