Thursday, July 25, 2013

Dear Fat On My Thighs

Dear Fat On My Thighs,

I've decided to write you this letter because you need to know that I have decided to end our decades long relationship. I know I tried to end this relationship a while ago, but it seems you have decided to stalk me.

I thought I could shake you by walking long distances. I started walking 2, 3 and 4 miles and then finally walking a marathon hoping that you would finally get the hint that I just didn't want to be with you anymore. But no, you stuck like glue.

I then decided that running would do the trick. I could easily get rid of you through running. I found myself running 30 mile weeks, knowing that with each mile I was chasing you away.

Then I decided I would run a half marathon, and now training for a full, but you still decided that you just couldn't stay away from me.

In fact, you must have started to make threats to other areas of my body, because my arm fat couldn't get away fast enough. Then today, I decided to measure and you were still there, solid as a rock but my chest had decided to once again run away screaming to the tune of another two inches lost.

So this is it, fat on my thighs, I have decided to be done with you once and for all. I have found someone new, something that I think will keep you away for good.

Kettlebell swings are my new restraining order. I started hitting them hard and I expect you to finally heed this advice and go find someone else to cling to. I hear some of the supermodels on the catwalk are looking for someone just like you to complete them,

No longer yours truly,

No comments:

Post a Comment