For those of you who know me. You may know that I put a lot of weight on when I went to Denver for graduate school. You may also know that I went through a period of depression, loneliness and isolation. It was a weird time. It was a time where I became someone I didn't really recognize (I'm not really the isolation type of person.) It was a time where my eating disorder completely went out of control. I couldn't control my body and I couldn't control my appetite. Everything was out of control. I was holding onto my faith in God like a life rope because that felt like all I had.
Yesterday, I weighed in at my "before Denver" weight. I just kept staring at the number. I couldn't believe it.
Something changed in me yesterday. I've been trying to wrap my head around it ever since.
It's not that I want to erase my time in Denver. It shook me to my very core. It made me stronger in a lot of ways. My faith increased. I dealt with a lot of fear. My friendships that sustained during that time became true friendships, because if people could put up with me during that time, I knew they were in this for the long haul.
But the weight loss. It makes me feel like I am healed. I am free from all of the lies that I dealt with during that time. All of the negative self-talk that I picked up during that time is done. It was like I have been tried by fire and come out stronger on the other side.
Shedding the weight is like shedding three years of burdens.
"When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till
it seems as though you could not hold on a minute longer, never give up
then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn."- Harriet Beecher Stowe