Friday, January 11, 2013

Before Denver- Wrapping my head around my body

For those of you who know me. You may know that I put a lot of weight on when I went to Denver for graduate school. You may also know that I went through a period of depression, loneliness and isolation. It was a weird time. It was a time where I became someone I didn't really recognize (I'm not really the isolation type of person.) It was a time where my eating disorder completely went out of control. I couldn't control my body and I couldn't control my appetite. Everything was out of control. I was holding onto my faith in God like a life rope because that felt like all I had.

Yesterday, I weighed in at my "before Denver" weight. I just kept staring at the number. I couldn't believe it.

Something changed in me yesterday. I've been trying to wrap my head around it ever since.

It's not that I want to erase my time in Denver. It shook me to my very core. It made me stronger in a lot of ways. My faith increased. I dealt with a lot of fear. My friendships that sustained during that time became true friendships, because if people could put up with me during that time, I knew they were in this for the long haul.

But the weight loss. It makes me feel like I am healed. I am free from all of the lies that I dealt with during that time. All of the negative self-talk that I picked up during that time is done. It was like I have been tried by fire and come out stronger on the other side.

Shedding the weight is like shedding three years of burdens.

"When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hold on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn."- Harriet Beecher Stowe


  1. That is Awesome. Made me Cry and it takes a lot to make my cry. I am so glad that I got to shadow you. You have motivated me to deal with my "eating demons" I like to call them. You go girl!!!!