Monday, April 8, 2013

A 100lbs of differences

I just hit my 100 pound weight loss mark which is something I feel like I have been working towards forever.

The first picture is me around my heaviest weight. The second picture I took yesterday after losing 100 lbs. Yay! I decided I was going to compile a list of "100 things that have changed since I lost 100lbs" but that seemed super daunting. So I made a list of all the things I could think of. Here's 67 things that have changed since I have lost 100lbs.

1. I am excited to get my picture taken
2. I am excited to LOOK at the picture after it’s taken
3. I am no longer the biggest person in any given room
4. I feel better all the time
5. I clean now, before, the concept of cleaning seemed really daunting, now I’ll go on three or four hour cleaning binges until everything looks awesome.
6. I actually enjoy shoveling snow
7. On an off exercise day, I still find myself doing something active (going for a walk, playing frisbee golf, etc..just because I want to be moving)
8. I am more talkative and open with people
9. I have learned that food really is my medicine. Now, if I am having trouble breathing, I’ll immediately eat an apple…works better than my inhaler most of the time.
10. I feel pretty now
11. My face has cleared up, I used to have horrible I might get one zit a month for a few days, tops.
12. I sleep better. My sleep still isn’t awesome, but when I was 100lbs heavier, I would take 3 Tylenol PM just to get through the night.
13. I talk to and know some of the trainers at the gym. I used to be scared to talk to the people who worked at the gym because I thought they would be judging me, now I enjoy getting to know them.
14. I haven’t tried to starve myself in two years
15. I feel like I can talk about liking certain foods now, I used to not feel comfortable talking about liking foods because I used to think people would be like “well of course the fatty likes the foods.”
16. If something is in walking distance, I’ll choose to walk there instead of drive. I use to drive everywhere..even something a half mile away.
17. My feet actually get more sore now, because I don’t think twice about going for long walks in heels or dress shoes when I’m out and about and I forget that I’m not wearing proper foot attire. 
18. My casual running pace got faster by three minutes
19. My casual walking pace got faster by two minutes
20. I can run a 10 minute mile pace for at least a half mile.
21. I actually somewhat enjoy running now.
22. For the first time in my WHOLE LIFE, I saw definition in my legs the other day
23. I prefer doing something active outside over watching a movie any day
24. I find myself more attracted to the adventurous active guys over the movie watching, couch potato guys (and I feel like I can keep up with the adventurous guysJ)
25. I can wrap a towel all the way around me now
26. When I sit in most chairs, there is room rather than having to squish and hope I fit
27. I can cross my legs
28. I take better care of myself in general. I rarely leave the house without doing my hair and makeup. I used to go out in sweatshirts, pajama pants and ponytails.
29. I can fit in some normal section clothing (shirts at least, I am still working on the bottom halfJ)
30. I work out at least 5-6 days a week.
31. I used to be able to eat two large bags of candy without blinking an eye. Now, I have a pretty sensitive sweet tooth. The concept of a sonic slush makes me gag.
31. I cook now
32. Sometimes if I am craving something that would just be easier to get at a restaurant (gluten free pizza), I’ll still make it at home just because whole made food makes me feel better.
33. I used to sweat all the time, now I only sweat when I workout
34. I wear a smaller sized jean than I did in high school
35. I used to eat mindlessly all the time, now I am hyper aware how food will make me feel before I make a decision to eat something not so good for me
36. I think 50 of my pounds was from ice cream alone, now I don’t eat ice cream at all anymore.
37. Guys hold doors open for me now
38. I understand that I have a different relationship with food than other people and will probably have to take precautions for the rest of my life to keep this in check.
39. I rarely eat fast food anymore, not only because most of it has gluten, but because I really just don’t feel good after I eat it.
40. I pack a lot of food for my day because I know if I don’t make sure to pack food, I will find myself buying candy or chips from a gas station.
41. I’m not scared of food anymore. I used to think of food as my enemy. Now I feel like I can enjoy it with freedom.
42. I’m thankful to God every day for allowing me to deal with this eating disorder after being in stuck in the cycle for 10+ years.
43. I don’t spend parties or weddings being a wallflower anymore, now I am out there dancing with everyone else.
44. I don’t push change on anyone anymore (or at least I don’t try tooJ) because I am hyper aware that making a huge change in your life has to be 100% your decision in your time, not mine.
45. I don’t put cream in my coffee anymore. I either drink it black or with a little coconut milk.
46. I am less scared to go to new places by myself anymore. I have gone to several new bars to play poker and met some interesting people.
47. I have noticed that I get a lot more done in a day when I do exercise, just because I am more productive with everything else in general after a workout.
48. I can take a bath without the size of my legs stopping the water from going to the other side of the tub
49. I take 100% responsibility for what I eat. Which means, that sometimes when I go to people’s house I have to turn down food because of food allergies (dairy or gluten) or because it’s a binge food for me. I used to worry about offending people when doing this, now I know that if they care about me, they will understand.
50. Someone once told me that you can’t lose weight in your wrist, I beg to differ, because I have moved by bracelet over 4 notches since losing weight.
51. My feet aren’t as wide as they used to be. Shoes that used to be tight, fit perfectly now.
52. I follow a budget every month and have control of my money. When I was 100lbs heavier, I would have so many binges that I couldn’t control my money.
53. I have had to make some difficult decisions regarding changing goals and pulling myself off some leadership teams during this journey. Now I understand that when something is not emotionally healthy for me, I have to make a change and set a boundary.
54. I was waiting in line for lunch at a restaurant last week and started talking to a guy about training for the marathon. We chatted for about 20 minutes before our food came. It used to be that if I tried to talk about working out with anyone, they would look at me like they didn’t quite believe that I worked out.
55. I have actually shared chairs with some of my friends. I used to never be able to share a chair because there was no room.
56. I hug a lot more people now
57. I am ALWAYS cold now (this is actually quite irritating)
58. I understand the difference between physical and emotional hunger now
59. I will notice a day where I haven’t had any fruits and vegetables now just because I will feel so crappy.
60. I am actually considering starting Crossfit this summer, no way would I have thought of doing something like Crossfit even 50lbs ago. I would have been way too intimidated.
61. I have started to set goals and take responsibility for changing other areas of my life now. Somehow losing 100lbs has made me feel like I can do anything I set my mind too.
62. I am more gracious to people who set boundaries in their own lives because I know how many boundaries I have had to set in mine
63. I don’t get as defensive as I used to about things
64. My ideal date used to be a nice restaurant, now it’s a fun adventure spot
65. Dating is way different. I used to try to change my personality for the guy to like me. Now I’m confident to be myself and if the guy doesn’t like me, he’s clearly not the one for me. 
66. If I have a day where I eat too much or binge, I still make myself write down every calorie so that I take accountability for my choices.
67. I actually use the slow cooker that I’ve owned for years.

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