I haven't written on this blog for about a week. First, I was planning my 30th birthday party...and then I was in bed with the stomach flu on my 30th birthday.
During the three days of the stomach flu, I lost 6 lbs. I was extremely nervous about this. You see, part of my eating disorder before involved long periods of time without eating and then rapid weight loss followed by a binge and rapid weight gain. Since I started to be in recovery from my eating disorder, I haven't gone a single day without eating.
So I was terrified when I went almost three days without eating. I was scared that I was going to lose my mind and fall back into old patterns.
You know what though? Somehow I survived.
The first day I could eat again, I just counted calories and somehow I have avoided going down the rabbit hole.
I think that is how I know I have changed.
I realized this was such a good thing to happen because in reality (and as much as I would like to), I probably won't go my whole life without getting sick again. What a wonderful thing to realize that I can get sick, get through it and come out and get right back on my plan.
In the end, I think that was the best 30th birthday present ever:)