A No Good Berry Bad Day

So I haven't been writing on this blog lately. Not because my health and fitness journey has taken a turn for the worse (actually it's been really good.) Life has just been busy and I haven't really made it a priority.

Three weeks ago I read a book talking about the negative effect of all the starches in my gluten free food. So I decided to get rid of all my gluten free breads, bagels, crackers etc. and only eat food that is naturally gluten free.

I began making a delicious breakfast of wholemade hashbrowns, strawberries, blueberries and bananas. It was delicious. Breakfast was the main meal that I needed to change since I was a gluten free toast eater most mornings.

Doesn't it look delicious? I know it does

Also, about three weeks ago I stopped being able to take deep breaths. At first it was a little annoying.I chalked it up to exercise induced asthma (something that I was told I had a couple of years ago.)

During this time, I also realized how amazing blueberries are as a snack. Frozen blueberries taste better than candy! No joke.

As I increased my berry intake each day (thinking I was the awesomest cancer fighting antioxidant eating person ever)...my ability to allow oxygen to come into my body seemed to get worse and worse. I spent the last week completely miserable, barely being able to take deep breaths and finally made an appointment with the doctor for next week.

My friend then suggested I take a couple of Benadryl just to see if this would help. It did, immensely. I then realized this thing that was shutting down my airway must be an allergy.

Thankfully, I track everything I eat so was able to look at my food logs and see what changes I had made in my diet over the last three weeks.

It turned out to be the evil berry. I could see this berry pointing and laughing at me. "Haha, you thought you were being healthy....thwarted."

I decided that it must just be strawberries that I was allergic to. Strawberries would be fine. I can deal with giving up strawberries. I immediately stopped eating all berries and immediately was able to breath again. I mean, it was as if breathing just came natural to me:)

Shortly after, I decided to eat some frozen blueberries for a snack. My airway immediately shut down and I struggled to take deep breaths again. This couldn't be true could it? My beloved blueberries actually hate me? But I thought we were friends.

Immediately, I felt discouraged.

I told my mom about it (who also has a berry allergy..so thanks for those gene's, mom). And she gave me some excellent advice:

Get over it.

Yep, you see, my mom actually spent almost three months in the hospital not eating anything. Now that she is able to eat again, she is still allergic to most things. Her words of advice were: "you just have to appreciate what food you can have."

That's the truth isn't it? No matter what circumstances you are given, you have to deal with it...and ultimately the way you choose to deal with the circumstances could mean success or failure. For my mom, it meant the difference between living and dying. I'm thankful for the example that she set as I move forward on my health journey.

Managing the Crazy

I haven't written  on this blog for a few months because I have had major life changes as of recently. I changed jobs, start dating someone awesome and had a family emergency to deal with. All of this while trying to train for a half-marathon.

So how do you eat healthy, exercise and lose weight during this time? I haven't really been.

I started training in February for the half-marathon and have been keeping up the training pretty well. However, over the last couple of weeks, my mother has had some near fatal surgeries that have caused me to have to head to the hospital in my parent's town twice.

Now it's about adjusting to a new normal. Right now my mom can't talk. I used to talk to my mom on the phone multiple times a week. There is still some hope that her paralyzed vocal chords will heal, but at this point it's just a waiting game.

Everyone is always asking me how she is doing and while I know it's with good intention and kind hearts, it's just an exhausting question for me now.

While I was at the hospital several times over the last few weeks, I found myself eating a dinner of a Snickers bar and a shared bag of Cheetos with my boyfriend. I just didn't have time to worry about healthy food.

However, I also read this magazine while in the hospital waiting room. It discussed eating healthy and how we lie to ourselves about what healthy eating is. (Like baked cheetos are fine as long we count them). It sparked a light bulb in me about how much better I feel when my diet is clean. This week I have cleaned up my diet a ton, been focusing on lean meats, veggies, fruits and greek yogurt. I realized that eating like this helps unmanageable situations seem a lot more manageable due to the fact that my brain is not cloudy with preservatives and can actually think clearly.

Because I started eating healthy again and following my workout schedule, I am finally seeing the scale go down as well. My plan is to run the half-marathon in May at my lowest weight since I started this journey.

Thank you everyone for prayers for my mom. We are so happy that she is still with us and thankful to the Lord for all the support that he has provided us during this time. Plus, she is quite the fighter so I have a lot of hope for her healing.

Adventure Day

Today, I decided to do 5 miles at Elmwood Park by my house. It is still pretty cold out but warm enough to get a nice outdoor workout in. As of recently I have made some drastic changes in my life including getting a new job. This morning, I felt like a giant weight had been lifted of my shoulder and I felt happier than I have felt in a long time.

Because of this, I wasn't really in the mood for a normal workout. As it turns out, I also forgot to charge my Garmin. It turned off at about 2.2 miles. At that point, I thought it might fun to start exploring the park. As I looked next to the sidewalk that I run on, I saw what looked like a little trail going into a wooded area. I decided to take the trail down to this cement log looking structure that I decided I wanted to walk across. After that, I saw an actual log over water that was a little more narrow. "Should I try it?" I thought. I suppose the worst that could have happened would have been falling and getting really wet (the water wasn't deep).

So I started to walk over this log and my legs were shaking. I went back to the beginning. Then I tried again but my legs kept shaking. I finally decided I was just going to do it and I crossed the log. Upon crossing the log, I realized there wasn't really a good way back out of the woods except using branches to hike myself up or going back across the logs. So I decided to use branches to hike myself up. I ended up falling numerous times and finally had to crawl out of the woods.

It was the best workout I have had in a loooong time (and my bodymedia armband said I burned 1000 calories during it:).

Now I really want to do an adventure race like a tough mudder. Today was soooo much fun!

I don't bring my phone on my workouts usually so here is me striking a pose right after I got home.

Changing My Eating Patterns-Why I am trying to eat more intuitively.

Everyone has the "perfect" diet in their back pocket. I have noticed that if you talk to almost anyone, you will find that they have the answer. It could be paleo, weight watchers, counting calories, vegan or a million different options.

I have tried all of these things. I have also failed at all of these things.

Counting calories has helped take off about 60 lbs, meal planning helped me take off the other 40. Paleo makes me feel amazing but does not seem to be super sustainable. I would be the meanest person alive if I ever try to be vegan again.

I have gone through a bit of a journey over the last year with my weight loss. Some good things have happened (more weight loss, sustained weight loss) and great exercise things have happened (half-marathon and marathon.)

But I would be lying if I said I'm not feeling stuck right now. For the last 4 months or so, I have lost absolutely nothing.

I know why. I don't really believe in the elusive weight loss plateau. I believe there is always a reason. I believe my reason is that weight loss is like business..you have to continue evolving or you won't make any progress.

Calorie counting did great things for me for a long time. When I was super overweight, just counting was really enough to lose. But when you get to a certain weight, the math evens out. Now I either have to spend years on the treadmill or significantly deprive myself to reach weight loss goals in this way.

As I have tried to make one of those things work (hours and hours on the treadmill or eating salad every day), I find that I HATE life when I do these things.

As I was getting really discouraged and entering the cycle of insanity again and again, I decided to try Crossfit. I wanted to try it just because it was different and it would at least take me out of the cycle of insanity. (It was a tough decision because Crossfit is EXPENSIVE).

Now I've been doing Crossfit for about two weeks and I've learned something: maybe this whole process needs to be fun again.

I've done things in Crossfit that I haven't done since I was a kid. Even though it's hard, I love trying to pull myself up on rings and I find stepping on a band and pulling myself up over a bar to be extremely exciting. As I am enjoying my workouts again and learning my body again, I started to remember why I began this journey in the first place.

I wanted a healthy, normal relationship with food.

Counting calories was a good jumping off point, but it's not where I want to be forever. I want to learn to listen to my body. I don't want to force food down my body if my body doesn't want it. I also don't want to only eat spinach when my body really needs a burger (I tend to crave burgers when I'm feeling depleted, I eat one and am energized right back up)

I decided 2014 is about learning my body, not being scared of food and having FUN with my fitness. I put the scale in my closet, I don't need it for me now.

Yesterday was the first day I started intuitive eating. I found that I really just wasn't that hungry. I ate gluten free oatmeal for breakfast with coffee, chicken/veggie homemade stew for lunch, nuts and raisins for a snack, and an orange for dinner. I just didn't really want a big dinner. Today, I had chipotle for dinner. I found I was a lot hungrier. But what I'm finding in this process is that I don't have a desire to eat an entire bag of cheetos. I know that this will make me feel like crap if I do this.

But the entire bag of cheetos is the result of the "I'll start tomorrow" diet mentality. That's what I was trying to get away from when I began this journey.

And I know I'll make mistakes. I'll probably have days where I'll emotionally eat too much food and days when I'll maybe eat food that isn't as good for me. But my hope is, that by the end of the year I'll have a healthy, happy, normal sized body that loves movement and isn't scared of anything that is sitting in the cupboards, the grocery store or on my plate.

Cheers to 2014!



I'm thankful that I don't have to ask, "Is Wine Paleo?"

Sometimes I get disgusted with my shallowness

This blog has absolutely nothing to do with my fitness routine or eating. Tonight I am just really struggling with myself, with the little problems that seem to plague me that just don't matter.

These are some of the things I have worried about this week.

My car is in the shop longer than it should be so I am driving a rental car.
What will the weather be like on Christmas?
I haven't bought presents for some people yet
I won't have time to run all my errands
I am eating too many Christmas goodies
Am I spending too much money on crossfit?
Will I like crossfit?
I am sore from crossfit

And on..and on..and on...ugh. I am irritated with myself. 

Tonight I came home after spending time with a good friend, eating good food, and learning how to bowl. I walked into a warm house. I get to sleep in a warm bed. I get to spend Christmas with family that loves me. What do I really have to worry about in life?

Some people are out there in below freezing temps just wishing for shelter. Some people are spending their first holidays without a loved one. Some just pray for enough money to put food on the table. Some are considering ending it all because they can't handle it anymore.

It's so easy for me to be selfish, thinking about me on a day-to-day basis. But I just think that we should really remember each day to pray for and love on people that don't have as much as us. Because even if you have very little, there are still people that have less. Less money, less love, less support...less of everything.

Boredom-Setting New Goals

I was reading another blog (Runsforcookies..check it out) and she was talking about how she eats a lot when she isn't setting running goals for herself. Now I haven't had a problem with eating a lot lately as I have been pretty good about tracking. But I have been completely bored with my workouts.

I looked into kickboxing and it is quite expensive and not a lot of great options close to my house. So I finally came to my conclusion: I need to set new running goals..not distance goals because that messes with my eating, but I think setting a few short-term running goals will do the trick.

Also, I need to hit the Under Armour Outlet when it opens this weekend and get cold weather running gear...because the treadmill is destroying my soul.

Here are my running goals to be completed by December 31, 2013

1. Run an 8 minute mile
2. Run a 5K in under 30 minutes
3. Run at least 1 mile a day for 30 days starting on November 18, 2013 (as I will have hit the Under Armour outlet by then:))

Happy Cold Weather Running!

Addressing "Fake" Weight Gain

This last week I have been getting back on track with eating. During my friend and former roommate's wedding "month" I found that I was doing a lot of stress and emotional eating. As of Sunday morning, the scale was up a significant amount of weight. My body is one that gains and loses water weight at a pretty rapid speed so I knew at this point the weight wasn't real. However, I also know that if I don't address it, it can become real weight very quickly.

On Sunday I was up about 15 lbs. Through a lot of prayer and meal planning, I was able to get back on track with eating and exercising, working through emotions rather than eating them. This morning I weighed in with 11 of those 15 lbs gone (told you it comes and goes quickly) so I am thankful to say it was probably just water weight.

It also feels good to be back in control of eating. Meal planning and following that plan is what started me on weight loss 2.5 years ago in the first place so it's always the thing that will bring back to where I need to go.

Now I am also trying to address the exercise problem. I am finding that I am burned out and bored with running, walking is still doing the trick as far as calorie burn but I kind of want to find something I truly enjoy.

I ALWAYS loved kickboxing even when I was super overweight, so I am in the process of trying to find a kickboxing gym that has classes that fit into my schedule. Especially with the temperatures getting colder, I think this might be a good attempt at transitioning to indoor exercise.

Either way, it feels good to be back in weight loss mode after a hiatus of weight loss. I should be reporting a total 110 lb loss soon (hopefully in the next two weeks if the scale cooperates). I'll keep you posted..oh and if you know of any good kickboxing gyms in the Omaha Metro Area, feel free to let me know: